Steve Caronna

Murphy Lesson

By now most who read this blog know that I bought Connie a Yorkie for Christmas two years ago.  She is cute...when she is good...which is...never mind.

Anyway, I am unpacking boxes during our move last week, and Murphy (who is "helping") starts begging...for the razor blade box cutter that I have in my hand.  I can't explain exactly why she thought she should have it, what she thought it was, or what she thought it could do for her, but she danced and whined and looked up at me with those big eyes saying, "please?".

Any idea what would have happened if I had given it to her?

I am so thankful that God doesn't always give me everything I think I should have, and that's not something I always think WHILE I'm asking for it.  Sometimes I wonder why my "faith failed", not realizing that God knows what is good for me, and what I'm asking for that might actually kill me! 

Other sides to this are the times when God tells us to do things or not to do things, and we really don't agree with the direction the Holy Spirit is going...and we ignore Him.  Big mistake.  BIG MISTAKE.  He knows what's around the corner in our lives.  How many tough situations could we have avoided if we had listened?

As a pastor, I have the responsibility of coaching people in the Word, and it's amazing to me the people who don't want to listen...not to me...but to the Word.  The Word outlines who you should and shouldn't be friends with, where you should and shouldn't go in your spare time, how you should honor your employer, what words you should and shouldn't  speak, your relationship to your church, and I could go on and on.  Let's don't be those people that think there are parts of the Bible that only apply to everybody else and not to us.  Let's be doers of the Word and not hearers only!

   

Jamie Tobler

What an outstanding message series Pastor Jamie Tobler gave us this past weekend!  Feet!  Leaving Your Mark!  We"ll never look at outreach the same.  There are so many out there that need to know that someone cares about them, not just so that we can gain converts, but because we truly love people.  Salvation + Social Justice = Effective Outreach!

Welcome Dawn Patrick!

I am so pleased that Dawn Patrick is my new administrative assistant.  Dawn and her husband Mario have been at Living Word for almost 10 years, and she is a true daughter of the house.  She had filled in several times for Jenn, and did a great job, so she knew what she was getting into when she signed up for this!  Dawn is very thoughtful and pro-active, and has a real vision for the overall vision of Living Word.  Welcome Dawn!

Re-entering the blogosphere...

It's been a wild 3 weeks, mostly because Connie and I (and Murf) have moved to a new home, and as most of you know, that can be a big deal!...as big as you make it, I guess.  We are getting settled in, and I am anxious to get back to ministry full swing.  I don't get too excited about coming in for a couple of meetings, then going home to unpack boxes.  It's not the unpacking that I mind as much as working on two completely different TYPES of work in the same day...and my favorite work is the ministry!  I Cor. 15;16 describes those who are "addicted to the ministry", and that seems to be my problem.  I'm a ministry addict.  When you get the privilege to work with the Holy Spirit in a great ministry like this, seeing hearts and lives changed, people touched by the power of God, answered prayer, and working with great leaders, it gets in your blood, you know!

So, I'm back.  Thanks for your understanding while I was "away" (sort of).

Am I EVER going to blog again?

Out of town the week before last, moving to a new home this week.  Murphy is taking some time to get used to it...don't ask.  I'll be back in the blogosphere in the next few days!

Jenn Tobler's last day

I am really going to miss Jenn.  She has served as my administrative assistant for 3 years, and is due with her first baby on July 10.  The loves of her life are Jesus, her husband Jamie, kids, and missions, which is why I chose a picture of her, not at her desk, but serving on a mission trip holding a baby.  Now, God has blessed her with a child of her own, and Connie and I are so excited for her and Jamie! 

Jenn is faithful, loyal, committed to the task at hand, and has kept me organized and "out of the weeds".  She has offered to cancel vacation days when the demands of the ministry began to squeeze me.  She doesn't know that I know of times she came to work on her days off to keep things going.  While she certainly had every right to, and probably should have, she never asked to take off extra time because she had put in too much time the week before.  In addition to that, Jenn loves her family.  Jamie is always grinning, so I know that she's taking good care of him, too.  Now of course with Charlotte in the house, much of Jenn's time and focus will go to her.

One of the biggest things for me is that she is the most even-tempered person I know.  Each day her attitude is SO predictable!  I know there had to be days that she wanted to pull her hair out...but I never saw it.  Maybe she freaked out on Jamie after she went home, I don't know. 

She knows so much about me that I sure hope we'll be friends for life    :-]

I am really going to miss Jenn.

Jen Chappell

I know you don't read my blog to see me copy everybody else, so I don't do that a lot.  I read several other blogs and there's really some great stuff others are saying.  I copy and file those for myself.  (I recommend using a blog reader so that you don't wast a lot of time trying to find the ones you want to read regularly)  Once in a while though, I read a blog entry that I really wish I had written, so I copy it here and pretend...not really...lol, but I copy those here because I believe that the information is just REALLY helpful to just about anybody.  Such is this blog post from Jen Chappell.  Not all of this looks like I would have written it, especially the crying part.  ;-)  So many in the ministry as well as the workplace are asking these very questions, and I thought Jen's peprspective on this was outstanding.  Hope she blesses you as much as she blessed me!  BTW- Jen is Micah's able administrative assistant!

life’s balancing act June 3, 2008 • No Comments

Recently I was asked a few questions about how I keep balance in my life. As I was answering them I thought it would make a great post…

• How do you handle multiple priorities, getting things done without ignoring – or worse, damaging – relationships or missing what’s going on with the people around you or that you encounter?
  • I have few really close relationships so that I can specifically impact my family as I juggle work around them. Ultimately they are my number one priority.
  • I think God brings people into my life at different seasons to be strengthened as well as to strengthen me. Then when it’s time to touch others God orchestrates it in such a fashion that our eyes naturally turn outward to embrace the new relationships. I do my best not to fight it or struggle to hang on to my friendships, though it’s not always easy. I love my friends and invest in them because they are a treasure, a gift from God. When those seasons of change happen it seems as if they end up taking a piece of me with them. But when I stop to check in with reality, I find that I haven’t really lost a piece of myself because having them in my life had made me so much fuller. You never lose the memories or wisdom each person brings to the relationship so it’s always win win.
• How do you keep focused and pressing toward the vision without being driven?
  • I am always driven. Being driven isn’t what’s bad. It’s the striving that is what gets me into trouble. If I’m stressed about a situation it’s usually because I’ve gotten caught up in striving - in being an overachiever or taking it on in my own strength. It’s one of those things that fits into the saying that “my greatest asset can also be my worst enemy”.
• The people around you obviously feel loved and cared for – how do you do that while carrying so much responsibility?
  • The goal is souls as Pastor Steve always says. It’s totally true. What is the use of checking off a task list at the end of the day if you haven’t given your heart to the people? In every task I see their faces. I’m passionate about loving people beyond what they think they are worth. There is no limit as to how much someone should be loved on. The danger lies in getting caught up in measuring yourself by what they give back. I’ve learned that for the most part what I get back comes from a different direction as to where I gave.
• Also, how do you balance that with pursuing personal growth (reading a book every week)?
  • I can only give what I have. Personal growth for me is the life blood in all I do. I don’t read just to grow me. I read because I want to be able to effectively change lives. I refuse to be a victim of my circumstances. If I’m struggling with something I find book after book and learn what others did to overcome it or better it. From priority management to communication skills to loving my husband and raising kids. I want to leave a legacy with my family that will show them that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us and that everything we put our hands to, prospers. God expects us to do our part and as we stretch ourselves He strengthens.
  • I also keep a pen and pad of paper with me at all times. I have bibles in almost every bookself as well as a myriad of books. At any given time there are 3 to 5 books on my bedside table that I’m working in. I am used to reading a chapter or two out of different books each night or different chunks during the week as I feel led. I don’t read to retain everything. I have a system that I use so I can go back and skim the book over and over again. I also pick 3 to 5 things I could implement from each book right away and out of those I usually end up doing 1 to 2 of those things I wanted to implement really well.
• Share with me some strategies for keeping all the areas of your life in balance.
  • Constant reflection. As leaders we are expected to see the forest through the trees. I sat in on a teaching that Pastor did with the Management Team last year about “re-aiming”. He talked about how vital it was to take a day each month and refocus. I implemented that in my own life. This year I sat down and listed out all the things I wanted to do. Items that needed to be done around the house, trips I wanted to take as a family and just with John, things I wanted to do with the kids, things I wanted to do for myself and what I wanted John to do for himself. Then I put seasons by each item and worked it down into months or a set of rotating weeks. I revisit that each month and make adjustments if necessary or congratulate myself. It’s not enough to do this mentally. It will get lost in the “trees” of life. I also revisit my commitments and “grade” myself. Asking the hard questions - “Am I really putting each commitment in the right order? How does it show up?” If I’m really putting family first then I should be getting home when I say I will 90% of the time. I’m not perfectly balanced all the time but knowing what I need to work on is the key to fixing it.
• What do you do to create margin in your life – time and activities that allow the Lord to restore your soul and get rid of that feeling that you can’t catch your breath?
  • As far as what restores my soul… I have to remind myself to take time out for just me. God has helped me this year by bringing a friend who’s particular mission is to make sure I do girly stuff. Scrapbooking and pedicures are my get away activities right now. And John treats me to what I call Heaven in a cup from Starbucks almost daily.
  • When I can’t catch my breath…I stop. I remind myself to breath, stop at Starbucks for my favorite drink, turn up the music so it invades my thoughts and remind myself breath deep again. When I’m worn out beyond what that doesn’t fix - I cry. Just empty myself in a massive amount of tears and ask God to forgive me for taking it all on in my own strength. Then I wear John out in hours of chatter and God uses him to restore that balance and bring perspective.
• I want to have balance in my life so I can be a CHEERFUL giver to the people I love, my boss, ministry and the people I’m leading.
  • So often we have our nose buried in all of life’s details believing that’s where our value lies. God showed me through a friend’s wisdom that my value isn’t tied up in what I do, rather it’s really about just being “available to do”. God wants us to be available because that’s where we become His greatest asset. 

Home Improvement - Improving Husbands (cont.)

Many marriages were changed this past weekend because of the message, "How to improve your husband". (See yesterday's blog) Here are more quotes from the survey that I didn't use this past weekend:

4. Communicate (Col. 4:6)

Be willing to admit your mistakes and say "I'm sorry" when appropriate.  It's not always the man's fault. - Mike, 44, divorced after 3 years

I love it when you just listen to show you understand.  I also love it when you challenge me with a different perspective. - Jeff, 43, married 17 years

Try to learn the difference between hearing and understanding.  Sometimes I know you "hear" me but I wonder if you "understand" me. - Dan, 75, married 53 years

When all I get is complaints and negative feedback from you, it makes me feel like I must be the worst husband in the world.  Spend some time telling me the good you see.  Tell me how I'm doing with the kids, how I make you happy (if I do), how I make your life easier (if I do) and what you think is good about me.  Bottom line: don't just tell me what's wrong with me, tell me what's right as well. - Jerry, 53, 2nd marriage of 5 years

The expression, "I told you so" - either verbally or with body language - is never productive in building up your mate. - Dick, 64, married 43 years

5. Celebrate your differences (Gen. 2:7,21-22)

If I want to go to bed later than you it doesn't mean I don't love you.  It means I want to go to bed later than you. - Neal, 47, married 12 years

I wish you wouldn't insist that we do what you want to do at precisely the moment you want to do it.  At least find out if it's a good time for me. - Roland, 41, married 5 years

When I go out to play sports with the guys, I'm not taking something away - You're giving me something I need.  Women want flowers?  Guys want to have time with each other without having to justify themselves for being away for a few hours. - Eric, 28, married 6 years

Silence can be a good thing.  Just because I'm not talking or "sharing" all the time doesn't mean there's a problem. - Don, 51, married 30 years

Home Improvement- Improving Husbands

I am enjoying this series so much!  This past weekend I taught, "How Wives Can Improve Their Husbands", and to back up what the Bible says about it, I used a recent survey that was done. Wives take note!  These 5 keys that I taught last weekend will go a long way in restoring the admiration that you both had for one another.  Here is more of what men are saying they wished their wives knew:

1. Support him (Luke 1:26-38:Matt.1:18-25)

Believe in me,Believe in me, Believe in me. -Alan, 29, married 1 day

Just as I tell our kids, "I love you and I'm proud of you," I need to hear the same from you: That you love me and you are proud of me as a husband and a dad. - Alex, 37, married 12 years

When you tell me you're proud of me it gives me a boost--especially when I'm beating myself up for not being Bill Gates. - Joel, 47, married 5 years

Know when to push and when to ease off. - Andy, 37, married 3 years

Listen to my stories, even if you find them boring.  They're not boring to me, so I must be telling you for a reason. - Michael, 27, married 5 years

2.  Accept Him (Luke 14:16-20)

Respect the power of Monday Night Football- Alan, 29, married 1 day

Stop trying to control and change us so much.  We're not "diamonds in the rough", we're men.  The same men you fell in love with and married in the first place. - Bill, 47, 2nd marriage of 6 months

Thanks for letting me be myself, not trying to change me into some "ideal" you wanted most of all--just as I have not tried to change you, but accept you for what and who you are. - Alan, 74, married 55 years

3. Trust him (Eph. 5:22-23: 1 Peter 3:1-2

Give me more space without obsessing about why I'd rather be alone than with you at that moment. - Mitchell, 50, married 6 years

If I have a problem, let me go off and sulk for a while.  That's my way of coping. - Colin

If I mention an old girlfriend, try not to be jealous.  I married you, not her. - Robert, 43, married 7 years

I'll blog more on this tomorrow.  be sure and e-mail your story for the lawnmower contest...and don't forget to text in your vote!  (wow, that made me feal like Ryan Seacrest!)

A Sanctuary Among Us.

"And let them make Me a sanctuary, that I may dwell among them."  Ex. 25:8

I find it interesting that God wants a place with us.  Yes, a BIG place in our hearts, but also to have a sanctuary where we can meet with Him as a Church and worship together.  Once the tabernacle was built, His presence was tangible...He could be seen and felt.  Sometimes people don't see the value of this place, and we believe that we can just meet with God "anywhere".  Don't misunderstand...God is everywhere...but He hasn't chosen to meet with us just anywhere.

I love nature.  I love to hunt and fly fish.  I "feel close to God" when I'm out there.  Even when the game seems scarce or the fish aren't biting, I still enjoy being out there, with Him.  But who should dictate the terms of my relationship with God...me, or Him?  Him, of course!  So, can I have "Church" out there surrounded by God's great creation?  Or do I need a building and other people to worship with for it to be REAL Church?

In today's "anything goes" Church culture, you may be shocked at my answer.  We need those quiet times with God alone when we can talk with Him face to face.  I prayed at the lake this morning, and it was awesome!  But it wasn't "Church".  I really do believe that we also need, in fact God expects, that time with Him in His Sanctuary with His People.  As I reflected on Ex. 25:8, I realized that if anyone was out in nature, the Isrealites were!  If anyone could have experienced God out in the wilderness, the Israelites could!  (and I'm sure they did!)  But then here's God, instructing them to build a sanctuary, right out there in the middle of "nature", where He could "dwell among them".

Does God really need a house?  Doesn't make sense to me that He would, except that it's not really up to me to decide what He needs or wants, when He wants men to build Him a house to dwell in, we obey and build it.  Acts 2:41-47 tells us about the New Testament Church building that they met in daily, so it's a NT thing as well!

"Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together as the manner of some is, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching."  Heb. 10:25

See you at Church!!!